posted 02-01-2002 09:35 AM            

1. I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.

2. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.

3. Nice legs...what time do they open?

4. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

5. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

6. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

7. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

8. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?

9. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

10. Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

11. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

12. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.

13. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

14. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?

15. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

16. Are those real?

17. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.

18. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

19. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

20. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.

21. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me

22. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?

23. **** me if I'm wrong, but is your name Helga Titsbottom?

24. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

25. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.

26. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

27. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

posted 02-01-2002 11:42 AM         

quote:

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Originally posted by pl8ster:
LOL @ #8.

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concur... that's fuckin hilarious

posted 02-01-2002 09:07 PM            

My mom has that same dress...........

Want to see a trick I learned in prison??

How much were your breasts?

are you drunk, or is that just a lazy eye?

My tool needs a shed

I'd like to park my corrective shoes underneath your bed

posted 02-01-2002 09:11 PM            

My mom has that same dress...........

Want to see a trick I learned in prison??

How much were your breasts?

are you drunk, or is that just a lazy eye?

My tool needs a shed

I'd like to park my corrective shoes underneath your bed

You think it's impressive now? This cold sore is just getting started

Mind if I hang out here untill it;s safe back where I farted?

Excuse me for interrupting, and I'm not trying to make a pass,
but you must be leaving the country if your packing that much ass.

I'd like to butter YOUR bagel!!!!!!

posted 02-01-2002 09:18 PM         

Try this:

Was your father a thief, because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes.

But the absolute worst is:

posted 02-17-2002 11:28 PM         

quote:

---

Originally posted by SpinWheelz:
This one works. Guaranteed.

"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Wanna fuck?"

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Ooooh Oooooh! Howz this?

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Hey look, a bed!
Wanna screw?

posted 02-18-2002 10:17 PM            

I've only seen this actually work in a singles bar, go figure.