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Yup. Thought it would be obvious. :) Sandy has been my nickname all my life. My dad started calling me that as a kid, then over the years others jumped on board, (mostly to mock me). After many years of annoyance, I've just embraced it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sad, little man
I've probably mentioned it in past iterations of this place, but i got diagnosed with depression probably over a decade ago. Dad has it too, and one of my brothers has it also, but worse than me.
Always feel that there is someone out there you can talk to, don't keep things bottled up as it'll make everything worse eventually.
I think we're all going to be a bit surprised at how many of us struggle with mental battles. A large percentage of us don't think in the same manner as "the masses". It could be part of the reason we like to hang out with each other and have stuck around. But anyway, in my non-scientific personal observations, people who tend to think 'outside the box' a bit are wired differently. And *I* think that an unwanted characteristic of this is anxiety / depression.
Anyway, more later.
Signed,
"Cymbalta medicated since 2005" GB
I never had anxiety, depression, or anything else until I had my accident.
I feel like I have been open with you guys in my thread, when I didn't want to blast it on FB. Because let's be honest, very little comes from fb, etc. that is worthwhile.
I will say this though. MR2 hits the nail on the head, I was heavily medicated for anxiety, sleep issues, and pretty much everything you can think of, and I am not a medication taker. I try to handle it in other fashions.
If something is really bothering you, get a plan of action figured out for whatever it is. When the plan fails, don't let it destroy you. Pick the pieces up if you can, and give it another go. Life is full of shitty circumstances, and sad things that you can't change. Accept the things you can't change, and fight like hell for the ones you can.
Also, I am almost always available. You can message me on here, or on FB. Hell, I'll even go as far to hand out my number as long as I can "hide" it in plain sight. (Would the spoiler tag prevent random people who aren't members the ability to see it?)
Something else I wanted to add...I was bullied recently.....yes....at 39 years old, by the brother in law of my ex-fiancee.
Things got a bit heated after the break up and her older brother in law, who's American but lives in the Philippines started to go crazy on me via FB messenger....talking about how much of a loser I am who probably plays video games all day and can't believe I'm stupid enough to start a 3D printing business....and that he owns his own big business or some shit. It was quite amazing, really. I've met this person exactly ONCE and apparently he was mad because my ex was mad...and he decided to take it all out on me.
It felt like high school again. All I could tell him is that he knows nothing about me or the situation, but it was still shocking. I have my own place, a nice car, a good job and lots of goals and motivation. Oh, and he made fun of me that I'm not skinny like him.
I was happy overall though....because even though he was mostly wrong, I could only use that as fuel to keep moving forward on my business because it's going to be THE BOMB, and I want to prove how incredibly wrong he is.
I was bullied by another nurse when I started working at my current job. It was text book horizontal bullying. I knew it when it started. She even took me aside when I was alone and read me the proverbial book on why I need to learn my place as a new nurse.
I told some of my fellow orientees about it, and they said I should go to management. I didn't, because I knew she would hang herself. She was a really shitty person, manipulated the hell out of a lot of people. She thought by attacking me, she would get me to thank her constantly for making me a better nurse, because she likely had it happen to her early in her career.
Fast forward a bit, and any chance I can talk to a new nurse, a nursing student, or anyone new in the field. I do. I talk them up, encourage them. Because this field, and the profession of nursing, needs all the help it can get. We have had a history of reading our young for far too long, and it needed to stop here with me.
She was fired not long after I had my accident for her tactics and aggressive behaviors. Management asked me if I had asked me if I had any issues with her, and I told them everything. They were shocked, and sad I didn't talk to them. I said the problem would fix itself, and it did.
slm,
I don't know what's going on really but I want to say I think it's a great idea to have someone to lean on, or a support network. Whatever helps keep us grounded and sane. My dad had depression and I've occasionally had symptoms in life as well (never diagnosed) and I know that trying to self-think your way out of it almost never works. Finding people to talk to, even if they're suffering too, can help. Be it family, friends, church or other group. People who actually care won't see you sharing as a burden.
And in general for anyone reading this thread who might have thought about it, suicide is never the way out.
I'll go ahead and share some shit in this thread since this seems to be the last place on the net where I have much of any privacy.
2017 has been a really tough year.
1) I lost my dream job, the one thing I'm good at and one of the toughest businesses to get into and stay in. The timing of it meant that I was pretty much going to have to sit out for a year and survive on coaching or odd jobs. Which I didn't end up making much time for because:
2) my dad was diagnosed with cancer in the spring. He's 78 and not in the greatest of health. Lots of doctor visits, bad experience with a specialist that we decided to stop seeing, chemo, trips to Stanford (my parents don't drive on freeways).
And,
3) my gf and I had worsening issues. It was insanely difficult to try to manage or improve. Tons of time spent trying to talk through and get through our problems. I ended up breaking off the 3+ year relationship recently. It's extra sad because she has many outstanding qualities that shouldn't be taken for granted - loyalty, trustworthiness, a caring for others, not to mention she's a car nut. ;) Unfortunately I felt disrespected, ineffective, and very unhappy because of other personality traits she expresses with regularity. I still care for her but for a long time now, anytime I asked myself the big questions (whether to marry her and start a family) my immediate gut reaction was always no. Life would have been too difficult with her. It was so hard even when we had everything we needed in the good times. She hasn't worked in a couple years (to speak of) and had nowhere to go locally for free, so I moved in with my parents and let her live in my house while she made a plan. I bought her out of the silver Z to give her some money to move.
My dad had his surgery last week and the pathology report two days ago came back looking good, so my family and I are breathing a sigh of relief for sure. Being a full time nurse just for 1 patient for 3-4 days was hard enough. I don't know how real nurses do it. They're a very special kind of people. Mad respect (looking at you Tyler).
And T leaves this weekend.
2017: the year of upheaval and uncertainty.
Everyone has things to go through. This has all combined to help me feel a lot of self doubt and anguish. Spent weeks just ruminating in my head around and around. At some point one has to stop thinking about heavy things and be able to have normal thoughts again. Like "hey this is a cool park, I wonder what I'll discover around the next corner" instead of "why can't life be X or Y" or "I suck and I can't find happiness anywhere."
I've started studying some psychology and relationship stuff on my own. Confirms at lot of things I knew, which tells me I'm not crazy, but I've also been learning a lot of new things too.
Sorry to hear of your troubles, my friends. :( Everyone struggles now and then. Back when I first met Lori, it turned out to be a bad time for me. Not because of Lori, but because the studio I worked at for about six years closed permanently and my motorcycle was stolen, which both happened pretty close together. It was a while before I got a job at another studio. I almost quit animation altogether. It was a low for me. However, I eventually got a new job, got married to my wonderful gal and things turned around.
One of my bros fell into depression at one point when his marriage fell apart. That caused his business to fail. However, he sought help, got counselling and went on meds for a while. He worked a shitty job for several years just to pay the bills until he eventually got a good job. He and his wife got back together and things are going great for him now. It took years though.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you persevere, things will get better. Good luck my friends. :)
Wow! Tough year Cuda!
*hug*
Will keep your dad and your future career in my prayers...
Also look forward to having some psycho-relationship discussions with you in the future! ;)