The "I'm Feeling Sad" thread

[Cam]

Ya'll make it sound like it's just so easy.

...

[Rikadyn]

...

何で

[Yw-slayer]

Moving elsewhere is a good idea.

[21Kid]

Ya'll make it sound like it's just so easy. Maybe it is when you have something to fight for or something that makes the pain worth fighting through, but I have none of that.

I don't have anyone in my life that I can lean on for support, at least not anymore. I had online friends before I had any real life friends and I didn't get a computer till high school. I spent my entire childhood away from school alone and isolated because my parents couldn't be bothered.

Now I find myself without real life friends, or really any close online friends. The closest person to me, decided that it was for the best to gaslight me for 2 months about not having a boyfriend, and while she insists that we are okay, I don't know how I am suppose to just trust her when in the three years since then we haven't even had a conversation for more than five minutes. This is all before we we delve the trash bin of my feelings for her.

At least she hasn't just ghosted me. Though I ask her to just block me at this point.

I've grown to begrudgingly accept that this is just how my life is going to be. Eventually I will just find a mindless job to work and go home to nothing, just to get up and go to work barely keeping up with my bills.

And I would rather not. I would rather just ended it right now then just trudge through life waiting to die when I can't come up with a reason why. To die now or die later doesn't change anything.

I've been wondering how my kids would grow up in this current world of everything online. Most of the people I really enjoy talking to, are my online friends. It's tough because I don't live close to any of them. But, I have in the past hung out with quite a few of them, and it's wonderful. I hope my kids will have similar experiences. Especially now, during Covid, that is pretty much what they are limited to, hanging out online... playing games, etc...

Things can get better. It has not been easy for us... the last 10 years have involved a lot of stress, crying, tough decisions, and compromises. But, I am in a much better place now at 43, than I ever have been before (except for real life friends). Many other people have found love, or success later in life too.

https://twentytwowords.com/biggest-s...s-late-in-life

[tigeraid]

Since moving north to Muskoka I've struggled a ton with anxiety and depression. Seasonal for sure, but even in the warm months it can hit pretty hard. Much the same as 21Kid, I'm the most "successful" I've ever been, both of us have good jobs with good pay, benefits, I have a pension, our house out in the country is great, got a nice big shop, working on cars, somewhat financially stable for the first time... Plus I lost all the weight and got fit.

Yet still depressed, still struggling with anxiety.

I have zero IRL friends, what few I had are back in London. But I swore to Tara like twenty years ago if we ever had the (financial) opportunity to move back up north to be near her family, we would. So I kept my promise. But it's a struggle. The average age of citizen in Muskoka is like fucking 90, and pretty much every person here is a right wing wackadoo. So while I do struggle in GENERAL with making friends and being sociable, it's even worse trying to do it here. And now COVID on top of that.

The good news is, we finally have a doctor up here (so I can let the one in London go), and she's hooking me up with a therapist. I'm terrified to be honest, never spoken to any professional about mental health before. But maybe now is the time to start.

[Cam]

Best wishes, John.

[FaultyMario]

The good news is, we finally have a doctor up here (so I can let the one in London go), and she's hooking me up with a therapist. I'm terrified to be honest, never spoken to any professional about mental health before. But maybe now is the time to start.

Cool, Man! Just be very upfront about your goals for therapy in the short term. Non-communicable diseases -like mental health issues- are not like an infection that will go away with a round meds, but stuff that will stay with you for a long time and will need different therapeutic goals and the strategies to reach them. IME, be clear about what you want for the first 6 months or so, and then your doctor can tell you how hard that'd be and what the milestones on the way to that will be.

Do not despair, I've heard stories of people who do great with like a year of therapy. Plus,

Plus I lost all the weight and got fit.

That sounds like a guy willing to do the work to get better.

[Rikadyn]

I'm sure you possess a set of skills sufficient to help you land on your feet elsewhere!

Not sure where you get that. But no skills that are verifiable, and a broken work history of temp factory jobs.

Yea I have thought of moving but I don't have the assets to do that.

[Crazed_Insanity]

You seemed like a smart guy or at least a smart ass! Anyway, you seemed smarter than me, not sure why you are destined to be a factory temp worker.

If that’s all that’s available in your area, than all the more reason to move?

What are you passionate about?

[FaultyMario]

Not sure where you get that. But no skills that are verifiable, and a broken work history of temp factory jobs.

Yeah, that's where therapy kicks in to help one make amends.