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Thread: The "I'm Feeling Sad" thread

  1. #211
    Jedi Cam's Avatar
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  2. #212
    Senior Member G'day Mate's Avatar
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    I should’ve posted something in here a while ago. Remember my son’s genetic thingo? It’s been affecting me somewhat subversively ... kind of a trigger for mounting panic and anxiety. I’ve held it together mostly but my performance at work suffers, then things get on top of me, and it’s been mounting and mounting. I saw my doctor and started antidepressants yesterday to pull it all together. Almost every day some small thing will have me close to tears, and close to cracking up. I think I’ve done that just in the nick of time. I’ve have a written warning hanging over my head since August, and EVERYONE is under the pump, but I happened to see some references to what turned out to be other people’s written warnings and performance management and went into full-blown panic. That’s when I booked the appointment.

    I’m ok, but also it’s taken me a while to do something about it. When the chemist filled my prescription he started explaining that it takes a few days ... I cut him off with a smile and said “it’s ok, I’m not suicidal, it’s just a helping hand”

  3. #213
    Senior Member G'day Mate's Avatar
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    Incidentally, we don’t know anything about Jonah’s condition yet as they’ve been unable to diagnose. He seems to be catching up a bit, but to me in his facial features you can see there’s something there, subtly. Maybe I’m wrong. He had all his DNA tested and came back with 6 “variations of interest”, all of which can be attributed to his mum and me. One of them is half of a thing called Cornelia De Lang Syndrome, but apparently it’s dominant (as are the others) so you’d expect that if he did have that then we would exhibit it too.
    Last edited by G'day Mate; November 30th, 2018 at 10:56 PM.

  4. #214
    Senior Member G'day Mate's Avatar
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    Another interesting side note is that my own DNA tests came back with a thing called Smith Lemli Oppitz Syndrome. It’s very rare, and I’m a carrier, and you definitely don’t want it, but since the other half doesn’t also have it there’s no risk to our kids. We know positively that Jonah doesn’t have this one, just me.

    That was a mild spin-out in itself

  5. #215
    Ask me about my bottom br FaultyMario's Avatar
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    Hang in there Dave, and...

    acket.

  6. #216
    Senior Member sandydandy's Avatar
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    So today is the one year anniversary of my buddy’s death. My buddy who died of internal bleeding from esophageal varices, caused by cirrhosis of the liver. Officially today on paper, but it’s likely he died on May 8th of last year. He was found deceased on May 9th.

    Can’t believe it’s been a year. It’s flown by like a blur. I think a little bit about him every day. Post on his FB every now and then. His wife still hasn’t memorialized it yet.

    Spent the year getting my own drinking under control. Only really do it once or twice a week now. I escaped becoming addicted to it, but was getting close. Was drinking practically every day for a while there. I’ve seen now where it leads. I used to think drinking oneself to death was merely a figure of speech. No, it’s a reality.

    Been talking to his sister a lot in the past year, and learned quite a bit about his circumstances. It’s pretty grim. Apparently he was diagnosed with cirrhosis back in 2016. I thought it was in early 2018. Fucking guy never told anyone. Literally none of his friends knew, only immediate family. I can’t rationalize in my head why he continued to drink if he knew he had cirrhosis. My only guess is he thought he could beat it. I remember in early 2017 he lost a ton of weight and went on a rigorous exercise and weight training program with a personal trainer. He was in full beast mode. I’m thinking he thought he could muscle his way through it by working out, but I don’t think that’s how organs work.

    The solution for prolonging his life was simple: stop drinking. But he was an addict. I learned just how bad it was. He would suffer from hallucinations, paranoia and mood swings when he would try to quit. All trademarks of a full fledged alcoholic. A lot of what I learned made me question just how well I really knew him, and I knew him for 25 years.

    The only one bit of good news was from the toxicology report, which stated there was no alcohol found in his blood at the time of death. So he did quit in the weeks prior to his death, but it was too late. Plus he wasn’t taking his medication, which could’ve prevented his death. This was apparently his second episode of varices. The first one was in the month before. Luckily his neighbor was over at his house when he collapsed, and was able to call an ambulance. No such luck the next time.

    It’s sad and such a shame. What makes me even sadder is that he’s pretty much been forgotten. On social media at least. Nobody has said anything on his timeline today except me. There isn’t even an official obituary written up for him anywhere.

    But I’ll never forget him. He was my brother.
    Last edited by sandydandy; May 9th, 2019 at 02:05 PM.

  7. #217
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    Remember me
    Though I have to say goodbye
    Remember me
    Don't let it make you cry
    For ever if I'm far away
    I hold you in my heart
    I sing a secret song to you
    Each night we are apart
    Remember me
    Though I have to travel far
    Remember me
    Each time you hear a sad guitar
    Know that I’m with you
    The only way that I can be
    Until you’re in my arms again
    Remember me...
    Last edited by Crazed_Insanity; May 9th, 2019 at 02:18 PM.

  8. #218
    Senior Member Leon's Avatar
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    Alcohol is crazy stuff.

    An ex-workmate of mine comes from a family where he and his mother are the only ones who haven't died from alcohol. His father, all his siblings. All dead.

    He drinks like a fish. Bonkers.

  9. #219
    Senior Member sandydandy's Avatar
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    Shit. It’s definitely crazy. All the ancillaries that come with it too. Like anything in life, moderation is key.

  10. #220
    Expert daydreamer SkylineObsession's Avatar
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    Anyone else here suffer from anxiety & depression, and find yourself never feeling 100%? Even when you've purposely planned nothing, barely even trips out of the house (except for work), all in order to de stress, and you think that everything is fine, you're happy and unstressed, and yet you're still not physically well/where you want to be?

    I've had a myriad of health problems over the past few years, a lot more recently it seems, and the doctors (i've seen at least 5-10 of them about this by now) keep saying it's anxiety. I've had all sorts of tests too.
    Blood pressure always comes back normal
    Blood tests always come back normal.
    MRI of my head came back normal.
    Xray of my chest came back normal.
    Coordination/reflex etc tests come back normal.

    Etcetera. It's getting really frustrating. I know i'm a mild hypochondriac, but when i look up doctor Google i'm quite realistic about what i find and keep ruling out things because i don't have all/enough symptoms. So even that isn't helping.

    Not keen to list all my probs on a public forum, but among them are tiredness, lack of energy, dizziness sometimes, joint aches and pains (mainly inner and outer hip joints), slight nausea sometimes (which recently tried to ruin our trip to the West Coast of the South Island of this country), and so on.

    It may very well be anxiety causing everything, but it seems that most places would prescribe medication to fix/hide it. I'm never planning on using anti depressant type drugs ever again, as had a really bad experience with Aropax a decade or more ago. Some side effects lasted six months to a year after i stopped taking them... Took some different antidepressants for a couple of days last year, and that same side effect came back, so i instantly stopped taking them. Best i can describe it is 'brain zaps'. Like a quick jolt of an electric fence through my whole head. It's not at all pleasant (not painful, just ... not right).

    Have tried counselling before, but that was for depression, not anxiety. The counsellor said i didn't need any more sessions for depression, which i believed as i don't usually have down days unless its a day plagued with health problems. Even ended up in the ER a few weeks back after i had chest pains, breathing problems and so on. They did all sorts of tests and half a day later i was on my way back home with a prescription for reflux meds (for the chest pain, which i didn't end up going to the chemist with).

    Grrr. Hard to try stay positive when your body tells you otherwise. :/
    Last edited by SkylineObsession; May 14th, 2019 at 03:49 PM.

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