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Thread: The "I'm Feeling Sad" thread

  1. #21
    Senior Member sandydandy's Avatar
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    Sorry for your troubles, Cuda. I hope your dad gets well.

    As for me, I donít know what to say except that my problems all fall under the umbrella of uncertainty for the future. Problems are a part of life, and theyíve usually been manageable, but lately theyíre coming from every direction, and itís getting hard to cope. I wish I could go into details, but there would be no turning back. Iím being intentionally vague because Iíd rather not dump my shit on anyone. I get SLMís view of not wanting to share stuff because it might make others feel bad. Just gotta try to stay positive and work it out.

    I will say that I came upon a startling realization just in the last week or so. Iím going to be 42 in a couple of weeks, which means Iíll be 23 years away from retirement. I was thinking back to what I was doing 23 years ago, and boy was life different. I was getting started in my first year of (community) college, studying to become some form of accountant. Didnít really have a solid plan for the future at that time, but always thought Iíd be alright. Itís been a mixed bag ever since. Iím somewhat dreading the next 23 years, but I think as long as I believe Iíll be alright, I will be. Iíve probably kicked myself 23 times for not going back to high school for that one extra year, so I can upgrade my marks in order to get into university...but no sense in continuing to hang onto that. Canít change the past. It is what it is.

  2. #22
    Senior Member Leon's Avatar
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    I'm 44, and still have no idea what I want to do with my life.

    Though, I'm not sure if that makes me sad, or happy ....

  3. #23
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    Take care, guys, and Bryan, I feel for you man.

  4. #24
    Corvette Enthusiast Kchrpm's Avatar
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    I'm chilling out at home all day, burning through severance playing video games and submitting resumes while I look for a new job. Had some great interviews that I'm waiting to hear back on.
    Get that weak shit off my track

  5. #25
    Corvette Enthusiast Kchrpm's Avatar
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    I'm guessing this is all apparent to you already, Cuda, but you're kind of coming up golden over the larger scale. You may not have the dream job anymore, but you have a lifetime of great storytelling for all those crazy experiences. You dodged a bullet by transforming a long time girlfriend into another potentially great friend instead of forcing yourself into a bigger thing that would screw you up even more later. I'm sure your whole family is finding even more appreciation for life and your dad specifically.

    I mean, you're drowning in silver linings, d00d!

    Also, when I win the lottery, you will be free to be the lead driver for Grapevine Motorsports! #itcouldhappen #idontplaythelottery

    Leon -
    It makes you you. And you are whatever you really want to be. So, like, don't worry be happy? *whistles*
    Get that weak shit off my track

  6. #26
    It's true, life could be far worse. I have everything I need (food, shelter, health). And yet this year I've found it hard not to focus on disappointment. I've never thought of myself as a pessimist in life. I've often been the one to point out silver linings to others. I guess it's harder to do this for oneself than to do it for others. Lately I start thinking about how I have no backup career (I was practically flipping burgers before I got lucky and won a crazy video game competition), haven't been able to leverage the 2016 season's success and momentum into a ride (mostly because I haven't tried due to the things I mentioned earlier, but also literally no one outside of friends and family has expressed even the slightest interest in me being in a car other than a handful of fans and my old boss who doesn't have the budget to put me in a car anymore), how I'll likely never be able to make a comfortable living or even retire, or ever have decent health insurance, which leads me to believe it would take a miracle of a woman to have any interest in being with me (I've always wanted to start my own family), especially as I'm 36 now and not looking the greatest and I figure the vast majority of good women around my age are already taken (and those who aren't probably have big tough issues *and* biological clocks going off like crazy). And so on. I so easily feel like I've missed the boat on life. It's not over yet but indicators aren't very good, and I find motivation extremely difficult to come by in recent months. Everything seems like a huge mountain to climb because I'm convinced I'm not smart enough, hardworking enough, likable enough, and so on. It's a sucky thing to feel. I'm seriously considering seeing a psychologist or therapist or something, which is expensive, which is difficult to put money towards when I've basically not worked in a year (and never made much to begin with) and have been a provider for 3 years. Smart thing to do is sell both 350Zs and go down to one cheaper daily, and use the leftover money to fund a "stop sucking" program for myself. My memory is failing me big time which also worries me a lot.

    Anyway...

    Quote Originally Posted by Crazed_Insanity View Post
    Will keep your dad and your future career in my prayers...

    Also look forward to having some psycho-relationship discussions with you in the future!
    Thanks Billi, for my Dad. I'm not generally one to talk about relationship stuff except with very close friends and family, I wasn't even sure I should post anything here. But my PM box is always open and in my time of searching, I value genuine opinions and advice.

  7. #27
    Expert daydreamer SkylineObsession's Avatar
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    I think the problem with a career on the seat of a race car is the fact that there's just SO many racers out there now, and usually it's the young sh1ts that have the best reflexes etc and are at the age where fitness isn't as much of a struggle (not sure if thats the right word) that get all the drives/seat time, and so on.

    You did insanely well going from videogames and the occasional (?) clubman (?) type racing you were doing, to competing at a pretty high level. They always say it's a tough game, and usually that revolves around money. Just look at WRC. NZ's best ever rally driver Haydon Paddon has been racing in the top level of WRC for a couple years now with Hyundai, with a small amount of podium finishes and one win under his belt. He's had a bad run this year with little incidents and mechanical probs (hhhmmm, just like Scott Dixon), but in the last (or second last) rally the team decided to replace him with a spare driver in the hope they'd get further up the leaderboard in that event - despite Hayden finishing ahead of the other two Hyundai drivers the event before...

    Something else may come up in the future, but if not then you've still got all that you've already done, which maybe you could turn into a book or something. It sucks, but if it was easy then people like me would be race drivers too (i can't be bothered with all the fitness, PR stuff and so on - so it's not for me).

    As for the relationship thing, i had very similar thoughts etc when i was in my late 20's, then one day i met my future wife at honestly the last place i'd ever think it would happen. She signed up on our car club forums and came along to a meet one day in her Skyline, and a year later (2008) we were an item.

    So don't give up too much hope around that either, just make sure you don't sit around the house like i used to as it severely reduces your chance of meeting someone.

  8. #28
    Junior Potato
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    Sounds like youíve learned first hand how fickle the sporting world is, especially one as expensive as motorsports. Without corporate backing (or a big inheritance) at that level youíre out on your arse. Iím not sure on the details behind Sonyís involvement, but it seems like they werenít as serious in the US as they are in Europe.

    But hey, thereís a good GT3 category in Australia. Send a few emails!

  9. #29
    Expert daydreamer SkylineObsession's Avatar
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    Or message the man who owns the series directly.
    https://www.facebook.com/TonyQuinnOfficial

  10. #30
    Corvette Enthusiast Kchrpm's Avatar
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    Cuda -
    Agreed. Very hard not to focus on disappointment, that big concrete wall on the outside of the turn. Takes will and training to keep your eyes up and down the road, but you've done it before and I think you can do it again.

    With the popularity of streaming on the rise, I have a feeling that you could supplement any income you have from a normal job with a little bit o' extra internet money.

    A therapist would be good, but would be even better if you had health insurance paying for it. Maybe local/community college for an associates in business and/or marketing, get an entry-level glad-handing job at something car or motorsport-affiliated where you can have those great stories go to work for you, and let your steady happiness lead you naturally to a place where you're so comfortable with your life that women are drawn to you and retirement just means taking half the year off.

    Also, none of this would have happened if you had hired me as your hype man
    Last edited by Kchrpm; September 23rd, 2017 at 10:15 AM.
    Get that weak shit off my track

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