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Thread: Godson - 2001 Ducati Monster 900 Dark I.E.

  1. #61
    Senior Member
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    Jan 2014
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    4,883
    And the first ad was already flagged and removed. Reposted, because fuck whiney assholes.


    Original post looks like this :

    For sale is a 2001 Ducati Monster 900 IE Dark

    Important stuff:
    Bike has 41k miles on it. It might sound like a lot, but it doesn't have many more miles on it than your Mom.
    Has had as many modification as Courtney Cox, but without any of the hard lines and tastefully done.
    Yes the bike has been in the rain, multiple times, and it never once melted. It's crazy, I know. I was surprised when it happened the first time too.

    Will this Italian bike get you laid, not unless you are gay. Every time you will stop at the gas station, which is often, I can promise you every guy in a 5 mile radius will ask you about it. Women will look at you from a distance in fear and excitement, but mostly fear. The cacophony of noises spewing from this amazing machine will scare small children. Each time you come up to a light someone will comment about how they think something is wrong with the bike because how noisy the clutches are.

    In fact, this bike will do a better job at making you smile than any girlfriend or therapist. Speaking of therapy, you can go ahead and stop going. This Sexy Italian will make your problems melt away only leaving a grin on your face. You will long for a ride on this thing like an addict looking for their next high. It really is that good.

    Will this bike break down all the time? Only when you go from coffee shop to coffee shop and buy the cheap espresso. This thing wants only the finest espresso you can afford. If you keep it caffeinated properly, this bike will keep you smiling for a long time

    It also likes to be bathed in strong cologne, and way too much of it. You know what I am talking about. The cologne which is so strong it chokes the air out of small confined spaces like elevators, making you desire for the 8 flights of stairs instead.

    Back to the important details, this bike was my love affair for 4+ years and 26k miles. Except I didn't have many girlfriends while I owned it, see above for reasons why I was single. It's on it's second relationship and it was purchased from a nice guy in San Diego who had moved on to faster things (Panigale 1199). Kinda the old saying, younger and skinnier model. You get the gist.

    Bike has been serviced by Jared Jackson at Reno's since I brought this bike from San Diego. Prior to, the bike was serviced by GP Motorcycles in San Diego, who also is a Ducati dealership. No corners were ever cut with the bikes maintenance.

    Price is firm and I am not interested in trades. Just look at me like your crack dealer, I need cold hard cash, and nothing else is worth my time or effort. Also, bike isn't open for rides without cash in hand. Would your crack dealer let you smoke some without paying first? Yup, neither will I.

    Title is clear and in hand.

  2. #62
    High Plains Luddite George's Avatar
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    Jan 2014
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    2,989
    I'm not surprised.

    (you spelled Courteney wrong)


  3. #63
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
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    4,883
    Just showed the bike.

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