Good idea Cam... But, I don't know if I will be offered, or even want the job.
Good idea Cam... But, I don't know if I will be offered, or even want the job.
this may belong in the love it thread, anyway ...
my group at work were borderline stressed most of the time, then we had nationwide layoffs and ended up with nearly twice the work. We can only cut corners so much and now we're all stressed all the time.
I'm supposedly in line for a promotion, but I don't trust that it'll work out that way; I'd be just about obligated to work both nights and weekends and be losing out on OT (almost sure I'd end up make less on a fixed salary with a small raise).
It's clear that I shouldn't take it (they really abuse/take advantage of the non-dickheads), the only real dilemma is that this 'promotion' would look really good on my résumé (but end up leaving in 6-18 months, screwing me in the short-term and the company in the long-term)
Fuck the company. Do what's best for you and your plan.
acket.
This seems to be the norm for office jobs in the 21st century.Originally Posted by balki
Here's what I've learned about how to run a department within a large company since I landed in corporate cube farms many years ago after a couple other "careers" that didn't turn me into the tycoon I envisioned I'd be when I was younger.
Step 1. Hire a few new people and and call the same old group a new department, or a special task force, or whatever turns people on. Put their pictures in the company newsletter and hand out some certificates of achievement now and then. Once in a while bring in bagels or doughnuts for the team, but not lunch. Lunches leads to longer breaks and socializing, which is lost productivity. On the day before holiday weekends, let them go home a half-hour early. Gotta keep morale high, you know.
2. Let attrition reduce overhead as the team gets more experienced and efficient and can do more work with fewer people. Every couple years, fire someone for coming in late or making a mistake to keep the rumor mill strong with stories of how you can't mess around at this job if you want to keep it.
3. Ditch the overworked manager a year or so in to the project because s/he makes (just a little) more money than the rest and doesn't do as much of the grunt work that the team is responsible for. Promote some hardworking but gullible schlub with a fresh new title (Team Lead, etc.) and more work but no raise. "It'll happen soon! We're just waiting for final approval for your merit increase!" will keep some people's nose to the grindstone for a year or two without complaint.
4. Always postpone reviews as long as possible to delay raises. Six to nine months is ideal, and make sure to do that every year, so a five-year employee will only get two or three raises, for example. "We're doing our best to get those on the schedule once we get over the hump. We just need to keep pushing forward right now until we get caught up."
5. Bribe employees with things that seem like perks but are actually opportunities to work more, not less. "Great news! You're doing such a great job for us that I've ordered a laptop for you from IT so you can work from home!" The "favored employee" thinks s/he'll get to come to the office less frequently, when in fact they are now expected to work evenings and weekends from home in addition to all week in the office as usual. Another good one is the "4/10 work week". Four ten-hour days instead of five eight-hour days can become five ten-hour days with the right combination of rewards and threats.
6. Continue to promise raises and promotions "once we meet our goal in a few more months" or whatever you think people will believe. Tell people individually that you're working on getting them - and only them - a RETROACTIVE raise, which of course never comes. "Shh! You must keep this to yourself. I'm going out on a limb for you here. Don't let me down."
7. Hand out coffee mugs and pens and mouse pads with the company logo to people in private and thank them for their hard work. It doesn't matter than everyone else has them already and they're free for the taking for those who know where the supply cabinet is, as long as newer employees think it's an individual reward for a job well done. Those who have worked there longer might enjoy an ill-fitting polyester polo shirt with the company name on it, or perhaps a thick note pad of Today's To-Do List sheets with the company logo screened on the side of the pad. Like the song says, you gotta keep 'em motivated!
8. Once it becomes obvious the few remaining team members are about to go postal from being overworked for months or years...
...return to Step 1.
Wow.
That's so good I can't tell if it's satire.
George has seen some shit.
My company isn't quite as bad, but I'd agree that's the typical way of doing business these days.
In order to bid and win new businesses, program managers would under bid with unrealistic cost and schedules... and then let the customers in on with delays and cost over-runs later. Imagine half way remodeling your house, you contractor said they need more money. Yeah, you could cancel the contract, but usually you just end up paying to get them to finish the job! They cheat the customers and then expect the over-worked workers to deliver unrealistic expectations. Whenever your services' no longer needed, then pink slips can come pretty quickly. Little wonder that we can't build planes and rockets on-cost and schedule nowadays...
I think things might be even worse for Tesla and SpaceX, but at least you can take comfort in seeing EVs transforming the world... and perhaps saving humanity by being able to colonize Mars later on..., but still, can every worker really keep up with Elon Musk's work ethic? Eat, sleep, on the factory floor? I truly admire his work ethics, but I can't see it being sustainable longterm. We have new hires who've interned at SpaceX saying that he ain't never going back there.
Anyway, if I want to work to death, I would rather die for SpaceX or Tesla I suppose. However, I'd like to live a more comfortable sustainable life.
If current corporate culture is getting more and more unbearable, maybe it's time to start your own business and develop some new culture of your own!
Mario, that makes sense, but this is may be my only chance go beyond the 2.x% raise so I'll probably end up taking it.
"gullible schlub" /raises hand
x2 what dodint said.
it's satirical but with no real embellishments (wouldn't that just be factual social commentary as opposed to satire?)
If a Marine tells you you've seen some shit, you may have shoveled too much of it.
The only part I made up was about group lunches taking too much time away from work. Let 'em eat at their desks!
Signed,
One of the gullible schlubs in Sector 7-G
I gotta go shake the crumbs out of my keyboard now...
Al, that's what i meant. Take it on the chin and keep your head down until you can find something better for you. You don't matter to them, just play along and fuck them when it's time to.
acket.
"work ethic" is an interesting concept when applied to people like Musk - As I understand it, his "work" largely consists of:
Have an idea.
Pay someone to figure out if the idea is feasible.
Convince some other people with money that said idea is the future.
Write check to get other people to manufacture the idea.
Convince the tech and business presses that said idea is the future.
Repeat.
-Formerly Stabulator
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