Wistful Thinking.

[Taimar]

Do you ever feel bad that you don't talk to old friends anymore? Or that you haven't talked to them in a very long time? Because I do. All the time, really.

There are many people who mattered, and still matter, to me who I really miss but haven't spoken to in years, sometimes decades. Now, in a few rare cases, that's by choice. But mostly, it's just that the amount of time that's passed and the amount of things that have happened are overwhelming.

I feel bad, too, that I haven't actively participated in the GTXF universe for a long, long time. Really, I went through some real trauma in 2005-6, and that's around the time I just pulled back - I had to focus on things day by day at the time, and then weeks turned into months, and months turned into years, and here we are. I'm still around every now and then. I still see people and talk to GTXF people - particularly Adam and Guillermo and Bill. But I'm not really around, and I miss that old community.

I'm a very busy person nowadays, which limits my online time in many ways. But last night I got one of many recent reminders about the passage of time.

I was trolling around a box of old photos for today's Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/p/B9ouMNvFb_l/) post, which turned out to be a picture of the old Bristol Cars showroom in Kensington. I wouldn't be me if there were no obscure car mentioned in my first thread in years, right?

But in the same box was a photo from the same day, somewhere else in London probably closer to Waterloo station.

That was the day I met samoht, who I think was the first person I met from the old GTF in person. Wagsboy lived only two hours away from where I lived at the time but somehow samoht was the person I met first, back when "internet friends" were still an unusual thing. That was 20 years ago now.

That was a good time, and I feel like for all the very positive things in the years since (for example, I've been in a great relationship for 11 years now), the world's not quite the fun place it was back then.

I realize now that I haven't talked directly to Tom in probably a decade or more and I feel bad about it. Bad enough to actually post said picture, and here we are. I still have that leather jacket, not that it fits anymore, and I still dress like that.

I'm sorry I've been away.

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[Crazed_Insanity]

Welcome back?

[FaultyMario]

I miss you too, buddy.

No need to apologize for living a life.

[Yw-slayer]

It's cool man, good to hear from you again!

[JoshInKC]

That is weird - I thought about you literally yesterday when a friend told me his daughter's guinea pig was pregnant and asked if I wanted any of the litter. (The answer was no.)

[Cam]

Hi! Nice to hear from you. Yes, it is a shame that we grow apart from old friends. Priorities change due to work, family, etc. It happens to everyone, sadly.

I follow oldmotors on Instagram. Although, I do not like or comment because I want my suggested feed to be maker and wood-related stuff. Your photography and write-ups are excellent. :) I should have created two accounts from the get-go, a personal one for friends and random stuff and the other for my brand.

Keep up the great work.

[MR2 Fan]

Good to have you back!

[dodint]

We all take breaks, some longer than others. I checked out for a few years to kind of refresh myself. Glad I came back.

Very glad you are here.

[speedpimp]

Welcome home Alex.

[Leon]

I didn't know you were on Insta ... now I do, and I've followed you :)

Although we've never met, I think I'd thoroughly enjoying sitting down with a coffee and talking weird cars for hours. Perhaps one day we shall do so.

[Rare White Ape]

Hey! I like the photo. Couple of old school Gran Turismo fans.

[Dicknose]

If you want to make contact with specific people - just do it.
Dont let time or old issues get in the way. You will probably find they feel the same.
Most of us suffer from inertia on these sort of things, time gets away and then you feel its too late and it just goes in a big circle of regret and worry.

Its nice to see you post here. And do make the effort to reach out to the people you were thinking about...
with that I think its time I hassle Trev!

[Godson]

Welcome back bud. Hope things are treating you well.

[Tom Servo]

It's always a nice treat seeing you pop up here, welcome back!

[CudaMan]

What they said. Glad to have you back!

[SkylineObsession]

I'm a bit the same. Especially with former workmates. We get along great at work, then either they or i leave, but we keep up communication. But then weeks with no word either way go by, then months, then years with the odd run in inbetween - where it seems like nothing has changed and you still get along as well as you used to.

GTX and one NZ forum are the only forums i use/participate in now (compared to 20-30 back in the day, and i post here at GTX way more than the NZ forum) and i usually miss participating in some others, but a lot of places have died off now (including my own forums, and my car club forums).

I'm on Facebook under a fake name, and only have 28 friends (most of them family) and don't use any other social media website other than YouTube.

I usually spend most of my time with wifey these days, barely see or hang out with anyone else most of the year.

So despite missing so many people, it kinda seems like i'm not doing much to rectify that problem. ;)

[Rare White Ape]

Eh. Do what you want. Be a hermit if it suits your style.

The list of forums I’ve joined and only posted in once or twice is as long as my arm. I could only dedicate attention to two or three at a time, with the various iterations of GTX being permanently one of those three forever and always.

Now I’m down to this one and Facebook and that’s about it.

[Jason]

I've missed seeing your opinions on life Alex, glad to see you here, and followed on the Insta :up:

[Taimar]

I think it's a couple of things that have been weighing on me lately - the passage of time, one, and the toll of having been a busy person for a long, long time. I basically have two full time jobs, and that's fun and fulfilling but it also means you are away from people most of the time.

It's also that in moving away from NYC in 2009, I basically put myself 3000 miles from my known world. I'm happy in Seattle and I love Seattle, but not for nothing a big chunk of my friends and family are still in NYC and it can be a little, well, isolating to be so far away from everyone. I did not appreciate that Seattle is only within driving distance of Vancouver and Portland. Anywhere else is a flight and often a long one. That's not the case with NYC.

I guess, amid all the bad news of the last few weeks, I was really feeling wistful for a time when I was more optimistic and I remember really having such a great time on that trip to London. Ordinarily, I think when people look back at the past with rose-tinted glasses, they're being unrealistic. But it's hard not to think 2000 was better than 2020.

Thanks for the compliments on the Insta - that feed is like a third job unto itself now!

[Jason]

Holy shit, you moved west 11 years ago? Christ time moves.

Makes me realize I moved to DC 18 years ago now. 😐

Definitely understand how isolating a big move can be, it's part of why I've been so hesitant to move somewhere that I'd prefer nature wise (Northwest or Colorado).

[Yw-slayer]

Well, 2000 was before... 2001, 2003, 2008, 2009, and 2016 to 2020. So it's fair to say that 2000 probably was a decent year.

[samoht]

Hey Alex!

thanks, that photo brings back good memories!

I feel somewhat similar, like we had those good experiences together, and there's not really any reason not to keep in touch, and yet we naturally drift apart.

(Shout out to YW for making the effort to keep in touch & meet up when in town :) )


I was 20 in that pic, I'm 40 now. I remember going to that pasta restaurant nr Covent Garden together. After being stuck at a boarding school from age 10-18, the whole period from leaving school in 98 through gap yr, uni and then a year in Japan in '03-04 was hugely exciting for me, and meeting GTF friends was very much a part of that.

I'm finding it hard to work out how to separate 'growing up' from 'the world going bad'. I mean, the first time you do anything it normally has a bigger impact on you, is more exciting, more special. It's natural that those experiences from early adulthood loom large in the memory. And yet at the same time, it does feel like things have switched from generally getting better to getting worse, somehow. I guess the best metric would be to compare how today's twentysomethings feel about the future with how we felt then.


Somewhat unrelated, but the other thing that's kinda funny is seeing the rest of the world catch up with all the stuff we already did 20 years ago; we were meeting internet friends IRL, we were having meaningful and impassioned debates online, we were online racing and learning the difference between being 'good' and the best, and how it feels to chase after excellence. Nowadays everyone's on Facebook and Max Verstappen is racing online as the real F1 races are cancelled.

Anyway, great to hear from you, while I've tended to post here sporadically I'll aim to check back in a bit more often :)

[Cam]

Northeast Gran Turismo Party 6, meganuke's house, Windsor, CT, October, 2001:

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[George]

Welcome back Taimar! Nice to hear from you again.

Got any good Dodge Van stories? :lol:

(The laughter is for your excellent description of your troubles; not for the troubles you suffered)

[HondaKid86]

Well, 2000 was before... 2001, 2003, 2008, 2009, and 2016 to 2020. So it's fair to say that 2000 probably was a decent year.

I'm back here primarily to check on YW — and I'm both relieved to find his posts everywhere on the forum, and heartened to find such an awesome thread. Especially since samoht popped in to say hi. :)

I have probably forgotten as many kind gestures as I hold close over the years — and really, I could tell hundreds of stories of the good days past.

But I never forgot the care package YW sent for the release of Gran Turismo 3 — treasures from Hong Kong, a place I always hoped he'd show me, and perhaps someday we'll still have the chance for me to return that gracious kindness in the form of something on the rocks. Just a guess — Johnny Walker Black? ;)

You don't ever have to be wistful, Alex, because the GTXF is one living part of the glory days that's still alive and on-tap 24/7.

Especially me. Write or call anytime.

[Yw-slayer]

Hey man, good to see you again!

Yes I'm still happy to show you HK anytime. Admittedly there's no point coming now due to quarantine rules, but other than that everything isn't too bad. In fact, things are relatively fine here, and thanks for thinking of me. I'm amazed you still remmeber the GT3 package I sent you, what, nearly 2 decades ago?

Stay safe, especially given you seem to be in healthcare!

[Phil_SS]

I was just thinking about you the other day Taimar. Some how I totally missed this thread back in March. It is good to hear from you even though it is already like 3.5 months past. :D

And even though I don't post much on Facebook, I do follow along, same with here.

[FaultyMario]

Hi Adam!